Still Not Over You
by evergloweyes
Summary: Brooke comes to see Lucas the night before she is to leave for Los Angeles. Set after the Season 4 finale. BL. Oneshot.


She wasn't exactly sure how she had ended up here, in front of his house at 2:30 in the morning. She should have been home, sleeping, or finishing packing for her trip to L.A. with Peyton. Her plane was scheduled to leave in seven hours. If anything she should have been with her boyfriend, Chase, not sitting in her car outside of her ex-boyfriend's house. But somehow, being here felt better than being alone in her bedroom, or even being near Chase.

Taking the keys out of the ignition, Brooke slowly made her way out of the car and towards the door. She knocked slowly three times and then looked down at her feet. She noticed the steps of the porch didn't feel the same as they once had. She had typically felt safe waiting outside his door, but all of that changed when they had broken up earlier that year. Now she felt vulnerable and insecure.

Lucas woke to three loud knocks on his door. He groaned lightly as he ran his fingers through his hair with one hand and rubbed his eyes with the other hand. The clock read 2:34 AM.

Stumbling over the door, he whipped it open to find Brooke standing there, the last person he thought would be knocking on his door in the middle of the night.

"Hey Luke, I know it's late and I probably woke you, but can I come in?" Her raspy voices broke the moment of silence between the two. Lucas nodded silently and allowed her to walk by him, her arm barely brushing against his stomach.

Lucas watched as Brooke slowly looked around the room. She seemed to be taking everything in, every detail, every picture, just to see if anything had changed since the last time she was there – when she had broken up with him.

Brooke lowered herself onto the edge of Lucas's bed as he closed the door and turned on the lamp next to his bed.

"Is there something you need, Brooke?" His voice cut through her, it sounded harsh, cold even. Her eyes lowered to her fingers, which were idly playing with the comforter on his bed.

"I needed to talk to you before I left for L.A. I'm scared, Lucas" the last part came out almost as a whisper.

"Scared of what, Brooke?" he asked, his voice noticeably different in tone this time around. He too sat on the bed, getting as much distance as he could between him and Brooke.

"Jamie."

Lucas almost let out a laugh, but when he looked up into Brooke's eyes he could tell she was being serious with him. "Brooke, Jamie is just a baby. How can you be scared of him? He's just a few weeks old, harmless, really."

Brooke rolled her eyes and smirked and Lucas suddenly realized that he hadn't seen that smirk in quite a while and that he missed it.

"I'm not afraid of Jamie like that, Lucas. I'm afraid of this whole godmother idea. I figured it would be best to talk it out with you, since you're his godfather. I didn't want to tell this to Haley because I don't want her to regret choosing me."

"Brooke, Haley picked you for a reason, she trusts you. You're Haley's best friend" he explained, trying to comfort her.

Brooke sighed impatiently, "I know that! I'm still scared. I mean, what if I can't do it? What if I screw up and he ends up just as fucked up as I am? What if I don't teach him the right things? I never had a real mother figure growing up, Luke. I don't know how to act." She finished her sentence and for the first time looked into his eyes, shocked to find them staring right at her. He looks tired and a bit worn, but she should have expected that waking him up during the middle of the night.

"First of all, you're not fucked up. Second of all, you're going to be an amazing godmother. I have faith in you. I know you have it in you and as soon as you start spending more time with Jamie it'll come to you."

"You sound like Mouth" Brooke stated simply. Lucas gave her a confused look and she continued, "Back when everyone thought I was pregnant instead of Haley, Mouth told me that I would be a good mother."

Suddenly, she felt his hand on her face, pushing a piece of hair out of her eyes and for a second her eyes flutter closed, on instinct, just like they did when they were together.

"You're going to be perfect" Lucas whispered.

The uncomfortable silence fell over the pair again while they continued to stare at one another. After a few moments, Brooke broke the gaze, stood up and made her way to the door. Just as she opened the door he spoke.

"Can I tell you something?" There was something about his voice that made her stay. Something that made her turn around and continue the conversation. Maybe it was the way he sounded so unsure and afraid. Afraid that he couldn't be honest with her anymore and afraid that they couldn't have a meaningful conversation now that they had broken up.

Brooke turned around and suddenly Lucas was standing right in front of her. His right arm reached over her shoulder and shut the door.

"Anything, Luke. You can always talk to me."

He sighed and looked down at the ground, before his blue eyes met her hazel again.

"Back in junior year and heck, even after the wedding, I wanted you to be pregnant. I wanted a child with you and I wanted to be with you so badly. I know it's stupid of me to bring it up now that we're over and I'm with Peyton, but I just wanted you to know. I wanted all of that with you. I wanted what Nathan and Haley were getting."

As the words came tumbling out of his mouth, Brooke realized what a dangerous situation they were in. Her back was almost pressed against the door; he was standing the closest he had been to her in months. She felt her heart flutter nervously as spoke and she felt the same attached and love sick feeling she had always felt whenever they were dating, she felt in that moment as though she was still in love with him.

"Look, Broody, I-'' Before she even had a chance to realize the mistake in calling him his old nickname, he had closed the space between then and his lips had found hers.

Her back was pressed up against the door of his bedroom and her head was spinning as his tongue found it's way into her mouth. One of his hands had snuck its way underneath her tank top and was making lazy circles on her stomach, while the other was tugging on the elastic band that was holding up her hair.

And she realized in that moment that she didn't want to be that girl. She didn't want him to cheat on his girlfriend with her. She didn't want him to save her and kiss her just to make her feel better. She wanted him to kiss her because he meant it. So she tried to push him away.

Her attempt at pushing him away was weak at best; she seemed to be internally fighting with herself. She wanted him but couldn't have him, wouldn't have him. Lucas took the opportunity to grab both of her arms and pin them over he head, while he trailed a series of kisses along her neck. He breathed in her perfume, a scent that had haunted him after they had broken up.

As he nibbled gently at her collarbone he heard her mumble.

"What about Peyton?"

He immediately stopped his actions, letting her hands drop and looked into her eyes. She looked hurt and sad and guilty, but most of all she looked scared.

"What about Chase?" He countered.

Brooke shook her head. "My feelings for Chase aren't even close to how I felt about you."

"Good, because it's always been you."

With those simple statements their lips had crashed together again.

Their clothes were thrown about the room in record time. As Brooke lay naked beneath Lucas, his hands trailing the curves of her body, his fingers outlining the tattoo on her hip, she let herself breathe the words she swore she would never tell him again.

"I love you."

"I love you more, pretty girl."

With that he lowered his body to hers and entered her. In those moments they both realized that this is what they had been missing the past few months – each other. They were made for each other and fit together perfectly. No one would ever compare.

They would deal with the messy entanglements, Peyton and Chase, tomorrow morning. Maybe Brooke and Peyton would no longer go to LA together for the summer, maybe they could all be friends again. Maybe Brooke and Lucas could really start over fresh and be the couple they always wanted to be.

They would figure that out in the morning, but for tonight they would just be together without a care in the world – as Broody and Cheery, as Pretty Girl and her Boyfriend, as Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott, who were always meant to be.


End file.
